Managing Job Search Anxiety, a strategy for connecting to Cope
There is no shortage of helpful information for job seekers out there. Yet if you’re newly unemployed as a result of the Covid epidemic, beware of information overload.
Losing a job is already a challenge, and when your juggling social-distance anxiety, new norms and family dynamics, you’re likely to feel completely overwhelmed.
4 years ago, when I began my job as a career transition coach in Silicon Valley, my boss, a wise and direct woman, had some advice. New to the job, I was working with high-level managers who were laid off when their companies re-organized. Sometimes these clients were short or angry with me for no apparent reason, so I asked my manager how to handle it.
Elizabeth, she said, “I don’t care what C-Suite they walked out of, they’ve lost their job and they’re scared. They have a mortgage to pay and no next paycheck. Let them know it’s both normal and understandable to be anxious right now. Let them know fear isn’t weakness.”
Losing a job is traumatic. Beyond financial security, work meets multiple emotional needs. Being laid off is ranked one of the most difficult experiences people go through in a lifetime.
And right now it’s a double whammy, because we’re in the middle of an unprecedented and traumatic time. And the combined effect causes ripples of negativity, creating feelings of overwhelm that are hard to wrangle.
When the questions and self-doubt keep rippling, how can you possibly find the motivation to move your job search forward?
How can any of us find clarity in the midst of all this uncertainty?
By deciding to manage our attention. Before you roll your eyes, I’m going to ask you to close them (right after you read this).
Remember the last time you walked up a difficult hill or a never-ending flight of stairs. Picture yourself making that never-ending climb. You’re already tired. Now look up to see how much further you have have to go, and how knowledge effects the journey.
Next look down at your feet and focus on taking one step at a time while turning your attention to your body.
Yes, the climb is still steep, but now you can notice exactly where strain is coming from. Maybe your thighs are cramping. So you shift your weight to back further to your glute muscles. Tune into your body and keep that focus as you change your pace and your stride and your breathing to work with the hard climb. Suddenly you feel calm, it’s easier now, you realize you can do it.
And if you have the opportunity to go outside and walk up a steep hill, try this exercise in real time. Note the difference you feel while trying to toggle between an eye on the future and staying in the moment.
Back to the question. How can any of us focus in the midst of a pandemic?
By shifting to the present and recognizing that this new world needs you.
It may feel impossible at first. But I invite you to separate the 2 traumas you’re dealing with right now, your job loss and covid-19, and focus on the one you can control.
The news is out there, it’s looming and uber-hard to ignore. But rather than toggling back and forth between future worries and present challenges, turn your attention to the here and now. Starting with extending your network, virtually.
Make Friends with Video
If you’ve been hesitant to use Zoom, welcome to the club. I used Zoom for the first time in months recently. I forgot how unflattering it can be! But don’t let that stop you. I took a few days to dial in my Zoom look and it made all the difference.
A few tips:
· Go big with makeup
· Add a colorful scarf
· Position camera at or above eye level if possible.
· Choose a virtual background, real or virtual that’s not too busy in a color that flatters your hair and skin tone.
This isn’t about winning a modeling contest, it’s about looking the way you’re used to looking, instead of washed out by harsh lights with a camera zoned in on your face.
Once you have that down, you can do some practice sessions. Use your favorite video chat medium to record yourself. Notice your focus. Are you looking at the screen or the camera? It takes practice to look at the camera while the person you’re talking to is staring at you through the screen, but it’s important for creating connection.
Work on connections
Just because we are social distancing, says Lori Eckel, a clinical social worker with Legacy Health, doesn’t mean we are disconnecting. Eckel says to stay in conversation through phone calls, video chats or talking to your neighbor at a safe distance.
Dr. Lindsey adds that it is key to stay connected with friends, family and former co-workers. “Those relationships are important,” she says. “They empower us to do what we have to do every day.”
Take it to the next level
It can feel risky to reach out to professional connections you haven’t spoken to in a while. Yet during this time, most people are more receptive than ever to reconnecting. Use LinkedIn to check in to see how former colleagues and associates are holding up in the midst of all the uncertainty.
This is also an opportunity to step into a leadership role and help others while supporting your community. Inviting people in your network to join a video chat around a topic associated with career goals creates a win-win.
I recently hosted a weekly mastermind for coaches, and it was a great way to reconnect with other professionals and share ideas.
To be sure, these action steps are no instant fix for the situation we’re all facing right now. If you’ve been hit with the feelings of failure and self-doubt so many of us are experiencing right now. Whether you’re stresses involve home-schooling, job loss or financial hardships, be gentle with yourself.
The best we can do right now is to move forward, one day, one hour, one step at a time.
